Mum! What's Death Meditation?

Nicole is a smart ten year old. She, like all smart ten year olds, is full of questions, some embarrassing, some mundane. But to her they are just things she needs help with. Things she doesn't understand. Things she knows her mum, Anita knows the answer to.

"Mum. What's death meditation?" she shouted from her bedroom.

"Where did you hear that love?" Anita called back from her study.

"I heard two men talking about it on TV". "The red headed man said a man called Steve Jobs said every morning he looks in the mirror and asks himself,

"If today were the last day of my life would I want to do what I am about to do today? And whenever the answer has been No for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something"

"Oh!" said a relieved Anita as she saved the presentation she was working on and headed off towards Nicole's bedroom. "It's a way of looking at your life and only doing what's important. People think that if they know when they are going to die then they would do different things".

"Well. If I'm going to die tonight I don't want to think all I did was go to school today. I want to spend my time playing with my toys" replied a sharp Nicole.

"Ah. That's not quite what it means. It doesn't mean you stop doing things you don't like doing. It means you must look at the reasons you do things as well as the activities themselves".

"Look, I know you don't like school very much and if you listen to what the red headed man said, you shouldn't go. But another way of understanding what the red headed man is saying is to look underneath the words. He is also saying what do you feel? Are you doing things that you wish you weren't every day. Things that you know deep down you shouldn't be doing. Are you learning new things that will be of benefit to you and the world? Or are you just doing the same things everyday out of habit."

"Oh I get it. If I go to Miss Smiths English class and look out of the window and just say what I know she wants me to say just to keep her happy then I might as well not be there".

"Yes. In other words a robot, like your toy, could be programmed to do that".

"If that's what you do. Then the red headed man is saying you need to change your attitude otherwise what's the point of being alive".

"So if I don't want to do what I do in Miss Smith's class. I can change the way I behave and ask Miss Smith questions when I don't understand".

"Exactly".

"It's like when you play with your toys. I call you and call you for lunch but you don't hear me. You're in a world of your own. You're totally involved in the game you are playing. That is what the man means".

"But mum. He said. Death meditation. What's that?"

"Ah that's doing what Mr. Jobs does, saying to yourself every morning before you go to school. If I was to die tonight would I be happy with what I am about to do? What would be the best thing to do with the time I have left?"

"Now it may not be playing with your toys. It may be that it would be better if you said sorry to Dominic for stamping on his lunch when he dropped it on the floor. It may be better to do your best at everything you do rather than just turn up. It may be you try harder at the things you find difficult rather than just give in".

"It may be that you spend time with Jane rather than ignore her because she doesn't like the toys and pop songs you like".

"You see some people of the world believe that the way you get out of bed and what you say to yourself first in the morning affects the way the day will be. So, if you get out of bed in a bad mood and say to yourself that school is terrible and English sucks then that is the experience you will get. But if you make an effort to start the day by being happy and seeing the good things then things happen differently".

"So, Mum, if I think of Mr. Thomas as a nice man who is trying to help me rather than a horrible teacher who just tells me off all the time. It will be better.
"Yes. You will learn more".

"Mum!"

"If you died right now would you be pleased with what you have done today?"

"No. If I look back on my day there are some things I would like to change."

"What do you wish you'd done?"

"Most of it's about my attitude. The way I spoke to people. I wish I hadn't been so aggressive, so arrogant with people. I wish I had listened more to Josey when she was talking to me"

"That's enough. It's time for bed now."

"Awe Mum!"

"If you were going to die in a few hours would you be doing this?"

"Yes because it's for your benefit. You can sit and think about what we said before you go to sleep rather than just ask more questions".

"That's what death meditation is about. As well as thinking about doing your best in life. Meditation is also about reflecting on what you have done and thinking about the answers people have given you to the questions you asked."